WHO do you want to be when you grow up?
Why this matters more than WHAT you want to be.
The tale of two realities.
A few weeks ago, I was in a coaching conversation with a client who realized she was living between two very different versions of herself.
By day: A patient-driven clinician, on a mission to deliver excellent care while educating the next generation of doctors. Clear in her purpose. Aware of her impact. Energized by the work itself.
By night: Spent. Depleted by the emotional weight of patient care layered on top of the relentless administrative bureaucracy of healthcare. Focused on the bare basics just to recharge enough for tomorrow — not entirely sure how to actually fill her own cup, beyond getting through.
She's thriving in one reality and surviving the other. And she's far from alone in that.
How will you handle becoming a PIP?
(Stay with me — this is my new favorite acronym, and it's worth knowing.)
My client told me about a recent visit with some retired friends. One of them mentioned, almost in passing: "What we do now is hang around with our PIPs!"
PIPs. Previously Important People.
Her friend was describing a particular kind of retiree — the academics, doctors, attorneys, executives — people who had spent decades being defined by important degrees, important titles, important impact. And then retirement arrived, the role disappeared, and so did the identity that had been quietly built on top of it. What remained was the task of figuring out who they actually were, underneath all of it. Important because of who they are. Not what they do.
So here's my question for you, today, mid-career, nowhere near retirement:
WHO do you want to be when you grow up to be a PIP?
It's okay if you don't know yet. A lot of us who are on the "right path," doing "successful things," find this question more daunting than we'd expect. That's not a red flag. It's just a sign the question is worth sitting with.
A few places to start:
If your title, your degree, and your job description disappeared tomorrow, what would still be true about who you are?
Make a quick list of moments — in the last month — when you felt most like yourself. Not most accomplished. Most yourself. Look for the thread.
Ask a friend or partner, "What do you think I'd be doing with my time if work weren't part of the equation?" Their answer might surprise you.
What happens when we coach for today's outcomes and tomorrow's PIP status?
A whole lot of good.
The more my client has explored what fosters her own creativity, joy, and energy outside of her shifts, the more she's brought back into them — for her patients, her students, her mentees. The two realities haven't merged into one easy thing. But they've started talking to each other.
Everyone deserves to approach their leadership and their life from a holistic, deeply human perspective. If that's something you're craving — for yourself, or for the leaders in your organization — I'm here to have your back. Let's find time to connect.
To a future when we laugh about being PIPs,
Claire
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